ah

i'm in love with this guy that can't seem to realize that there are better things out there for them then his ex who is playing mind games. I don't want to just be his friend, or a bounce in and out of a relationship with him. I want him to love me and never want to leave me. I want him to make sure that I'm doing well, and that I always have a smile on my face. I want him to kiss me on the forehead and tell me he loves me when I'm having a bad day. I want to fight with him and him to get angry with me, but then smile and tell me i'm cute when I get mad. I want to cry my eyes out without getting embarrassed in front of him and him tell me that I'm beautiful, even though I have makeup running down my face.I want him to look at me and think that there is no other girl on this planet for him but me.
But it's not that way, he may love me, but not like he loves her. He may look at me and think i'm beautiful, but he'll always go back to her, and he plays these games with her, and I get sucked in. I'm sick of it, but i can't help but love him even more.

Love haunts the living.

This is all a dream she tells herself
He's not really here holding me
The love they tried so hard to hide
They had done so well
So how did this happen
How is he here holding me
Telling me he loves me
He removes the hair that was covering my face
Every touch felt like fire
I loved him with so much
We walked and we knew our love had to be hidden again

In a blink of an eye
We were attacked
He looked at me and told me to run and get help
I didn't want to leave him there alone
But I did as I was told and ran

An hour later I saw him
He saw the scared look I had in my eyes
He pulled e close and said everything is okay
Promised me nothing would ever happen to me
He'd protect me
I looked up and said, "I love you"
He smiled and kissed me

I awoke screaming
Realizing I had tears streaming down my face
Felt like someone was stabbing me in the chest
I knew the last memories I had of him would forever haunt me
Because he was gone and I would never be in his arms again.